A Foreward by Mr Ball

In recent years my faith in ewemanity is being continually tested. The days of tolerance it seems have long passed and we now live in an age of hositility and cruelty. Young girls now think nothing of calling me names as I ride past on my bike. They do not seem to realise that the stabalizers are for their safety as much as mine and I only ever use my bell in a responsible manner.

The boys are no better claiming that I have the bugs and force me to hand over my dinner money after cornering me behind SPAR or else they threaten to tell the whole village that I occassionaly wet the bed after a particularly frightening episodes of Spongebob Squarepants.

Is this really the society that we should put up with? How many more marbles am I going to have stolen before the people of the valley rise up and 'No more'.

The only pleasure that gave my life meaning was the friendship and unconditional love that existed between myself, my butty Mr Boy, and a sheep of elegance and beauty, but also of heartfelt empathy and compassion. Somehow, having lovely Flossy cwtched up with me on the sofa watching Oprah, drowned out the tyrade of verbal abuse an exceptionally mean group of Brownies would subject me to every day on their way home from school.

Then on the morning of February 4th 2008 I learned the true meaning of word grief. As I deflated my partner Busty Belinda, I noticed that Flossy's basket was empty and her Bran Flakes untouched. As panic set in, Mr Boy approaced the cradle only to find a note that would, as it turned out, change the course of our lives and the history of the valley forever.

What started out as nothing more than ridiculous optimism, TAFFF, has astonishly become a unifying quest, bringing together the best and bravest characters, that proudly still possess the rare qualities of the original settlers that made this valley great.

It is to this end that today marks a milestone in our ongoing struggle against the evil that is the dreaded SPICER. After enormous public demand, this website that our members can call their own, was launched sometime today in between Jeremy Kyle and Trisha.  It contains information on the struggle so far, TAFFF's crack squad, sightings, events, celebrity endorsements and essential background knowledge of the enemy that has risen up once again and threatens to plunge the vale back into an age of terror, fear and house music.

We at TAFFF hope you share the same emotional delight that the Chief Executive of Microsoft expressed when he said in a recent academic journal 'I never thought that during my lifetime my eyes would be subjected to a website such as this. It is simply without parallel across the entire Internet. I fail to find the words that could even begin to describe my opinion on it and that it simply has to be seen to be believed'.